Ash Wednesday at St. Cecilia's Cathedral

2/25/09

Today I attended my first Ash Wednesday service. I went to St. Cecilia's Catedral in Omaha. I went alone as most everyone else was busy but I think that was the best way for me to attend. It allowed me to focus on the service and my own reflection.

Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, the season of preparation for the celebration of the resurrection of Christ on Easter. Growing up in a "free church" denomination we do not observe Lent. My entire life I have experienced the "high" of Palm Sunday followed immediately by the "high" of Easter Sunday...with nothing in between. We waved palm branches one Sunday and the next time we met we celebrated the resurrection. But we never really observed what happened in between, at least not in an organized intentional way.

Don't get me wrong, I grew up hearing sermons about the cross and the death of Christ was not overlooked at all in our preaching but it was done only at the direction of the pastor when he felt that it needed addressed.

I have always felt Easter sort of "sneaking up" on me and I never felt prepared for it as I do for Christmas. We start getting ready for the celebration of the birth of Christ the day after Thanksgiving...not because it's a religious thing but because it's a cultural thing. We can't escape preparing for Christmas...it's everywhere around us. But Easter always seems to catch me by surprise because I don't prepare for it and look forward to it and anticipate it by the things I do in my home and church.

Anyway, here's just a few of the things I observed today during and after the Ash Wednesday service...

1. Ash Wednesday is a day that I intentionally repent of my sins and mourn the hurt that they have caused. Sprinkling ashes on the head is an ancient tradition that symbolizes repentance and mourning. I am familiar with this concept in the Old Testament writings. I appreciated the time given in this Catholic service to sit in utter silence and confess my sins to God. I like the liturgical concept of confession of sins before entering into worship. I think this is healthy. Far too often we come into a church worship service with no thought of what may be causing a blockage between our spirit and the Presence of God. As the placed the ashes on the forehead one of the things he said to each participant was "Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel." I need that message, not just today, but everyday.

2. Ash Wednesday is a day that I intentionally embrace the concept of humility. While I didn't participate in the application of ashes because I was not sure that it was for non-catholics, as I watched the others I did sense how "humiliating" it would be to stand before this huge crowd and allow my face to be marred with an ugly black mark. I had never identified the attribute of "humility" with "humiliation" but they are obviously very closely related. I have grown up in a culture that teaches me to "put my best face forward." That was not the lesson I learned here in this ancient ritual. What I was encouraged to do here was to publicly and visibly bear the mark of the Cross for all the world to see my identification with the sufferings of Jesus...even if it made me look odd and out of place. Some of the words whispered by the priest as he placed the ashes were "Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return." In other words, "Get over yourself."

3. Ash Wednesday is a day in which I begin a 40 day season of intentional self-denial. I am not trying to "earn points" with God. I am training my flesh to be in submission to my spirit. I am taking the money I would normally spend on a certain thing and giving it to those in need. I am intentionally taking extra time out of my day that I would normally focus on "feeding my fleshly needs" and putting that focus on communion with God. I believe that this practice of self-denial will develop my ability to say "no" to myself when things that I want are in conflict with the things that God wants.

4. Ash Wednesday is a day when I experience greater unity with other believers. Even though I didn't bear on my face the marks of the cross, as I went through the day I saw many others who did. When I saw them I felt a kinship with them...fellow believers who, on that day, had also taken the same vows to repent, to humble themselves before God and to fast. I found myself wanting to run up to each of them and talk and share our stories. Then I remembered that I had not taken the ashes...and I found myself wishing that I had. Perhaps next year???

While I am not ready to make participation in a service such as Ash Wednesday a requirement for Christianity, I do feel that my Easter season and my preparation for it were deeply enriched by attending this service today. Thank you to the congregation at St. Cecelia's Cathedral for allowing this protestant pentecostal girl to share in your services.